I believe there are people out there that long for blogs to become a thing again. Between youtube, twitter, instagram, tiktok, podcasts, tumblr, reddit…I don’t know, it feels like there’s some exhaustion brewing with it all. I’m not saying it’s a lot of people, but maybe some. Or maybe it’s just me. I miss blogs, and I know there are still popular blogs around. I’m not talking about popular blogs. I miss reading blogs written by any old anybody, about anything.

The constant theme of my creative endeavors, online and offline, is the deep longing to create. Up until recently, I haven’t really had the mental or physical space to create. I’ve tried and failed…a lot. That’s kind of how this blog happened. I started it with the intention to write little stream of consciousness blogs, short stories, slice of life ramblings, and post some other stuff I get up to. The reality is that I get a spurt of energy every two years, post a bunch of shit that’s the equivalent of flinging spaghetti at the wall, then delete it later when I’m sober and embarrassed. I’ve decided to start trying. Even if no one ever reads this blog besides me, and my page views never amount to more than me just refreshing my own website.

When I started this blog in 2015, I was a 22-year-old community college student. I was helping caretake for family, and tutoring other students for money (writing their papers for them). My life left me with little energy to actually do anything for myself. At the time I couldn’t pinpoint why I felt so exhausted by it all, but a lot of it had to do with my mental health and how socially isolated I was. In 2018, after feeling I had gotten all I could out of my home and school life, I moved to Seattle. I was finally all on my own and life went from survival mode to hard mode. Even though it was hard, never before in my life had I felt happiness the way I did in Seattle. It was like life became bigger and brighter and more vivid.

I’m writing this blog entry in the year of our Lord 2020 on my couch, in my living room, in my house, in rural Pennsylvania, where I live with my boyfriend/UPS store notarized domestic partner, Eugene. It almost doesn’t feel real. A lot of wild times went down between moving to Seattle in 2018, meeting Gene in late 2019, then moving to Pennsylvania with him three months ago while in the midst of a pandemic. So I’m going to try to write about my life and the lives of the people around me (judiciously). I know I’ll be grateful to have some record of my life that I haven’t flushed down the toilet out of self-loathing.

Thanks, Jenn